Legal writing is perhaps the most important tool of the legal profession. Nonetheless, attorneys regularly violate ethical duties in their writing, and those violations go undetected. Systemic unethical legal writing impacts the entire legal profession, as well as those we serve and the community in which we practice. In this presentation, we examine seven common ethical issues in legal research, writing, and advocacy in the context of litigation. We examine the ethical duties of competence, diligence, and candor as embodied in the ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct. And how do tacos factor in? Well, you’ll just have to see—it just might guac your world!